


Guilty conscience

by Attack_on_mgl



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abusive Neil Hargrove, Billy Hargrove & Robin Buckley friendship, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Childhood Trauma, Hurt Billy Hargrove, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Mental Health Issues, Post- The Battle of Starcourt, Protective Parent Jim "Chief" Hopper, Psychological Trauma, Steve can't bring himself to fully sympathize with Billy, dark themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-06-28 12:58:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19812769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attack_on_mgl/pseuds/Attack_on_mgl
Summary: He looked pale, yet flushed at the same time, and soon Steve realised the colour in the other teen's cheeks wasn't what he'd thought.It's a smudge of blood across his left cheek, smeared from his nostril to his ear, sticky and fresh and worrying.Robin smiled at him, sympathetic. Steve wonderes if she's noticed the blood too, or if she was still pitying him after everything that happened at Starcourt, but he didn't really care.He was then ordered to get the first aid kit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting anything for Stranger Things, so yeah 
> 
> I hope I don't piss off the fandom lmao

Keith was ill.

Well, he _said_ he was, but Robin was pretty damn sure he was lying. Again.

She didn't really care, though.

It was fun when it was just her and Steve, fucking around the video store and acting like children. It was fun, freeing, and a stark contrast to the absolute mindfuck they'd endured just over three months ago.

She had a love/hate relationship with those extremely vivid memories.

Steve'd always been in denial. Saying he wasn't bothered by it, or that 'its just a normal thing now' – as if a giant monster made out of guts and bones was a normal occurrence – and she honestly wouldn't be surprised if he secretly had PTSD or something.

The sky outside was dark blue and littered with stars as she looked out the big windows lining the video store, eyes tired and mind foggy with boredom.

Thursday evenings were usually one of the deadest nights in terms of activity, and she'd always never been afraid to kick a kid or two out of it meant locking up early and going straight to bed.

"I reckon we can close in like…" Steve leant against the opposite side of the counter, eyes shifting downward to squint at his watch for a moment. "…half hour?"

Robin nods, smiling softly as he blinked at her tiredly. He smirked stupidly as he spoke, rubbing his eyes with his palms harshly to stop himself from collapsing there and then. "…Do you… Do you wanna come round mine tomorrow?" He asked, winking. It was a weird inside joke they'd got going on; flirting with each other just for the sake of it. Having a laugh.

She shook her head and laughed lightly. Friday was their day off(thank God), and honestly she couldn't think of anything better. "And do _what_ , exactly?"

"I dunno." He was grinning like an idiot now. "Talk about–"

"Billy."

"What?" He narrowed his brows at her, shaking his head in confusion. " _No_. Not _Billy_ –"

" _No, Steve._ " She reached over the counter and grabbed his shoulders, turning him around so he was looking at the entrance doors, watching with curiousity as Billy Hargrove haphazardly steps inside.

He stood awkwardly, eyes hazy and glistening as he blinked.

"You okay?" Steve asked, frowning. It was understandable for Billy to be a bit messed up after the whole Mind Flayer incident(aka, narrowly cheating death and being sworn to secrecy by some random government officials), but it had been about a month or so since he'd been out of hospital, and he'd honestly seemed to be getting his life back on track.

But this was strange.

He looked pale, yet flushed at the same time, and soon Steve realised the colour in the other teen's cheeks isn't what he'd thought.

It's a smudge of blood across his left cheek, smeared from his nostril to his ear, sticky and fresh and _worrying_.

"You guys have a bathroom here, right?" He asked, his voice lacking it's signature bite. It'd been lacking that for quite some time, actually.

"I'll show you." Robin smiles at him, sympathetic. Steve wondered if she'd noticed the blood too, or if she's still pitying him after everything that happened at Starcourt, but he didn't really care.

He's about to ask how he got the bloody nose, but he's distracted when Robin walked around the counter and brushed past him, muttering a quiet order to "go get the first aid kit."

So he did.

And when he returned, Robin was gone.

She wasn't outside the men's toilets, or in the women's, but he was startled when she suddenly swings open the door to the men's toilets and drags him in ruthlessly.

All the cubicles were unlocked apart from the end one, and Robin slided down the wall until she's sitting on the tiled floor, feet sprawled out in front of her patiently. She watched as Steve slided down the wall as well, until he was sat comfortably next to her, placing the first aid kit between them quietly.

 _He isn't doing anything_ , he mouthed to her a minute or so later, glancing at the locked cubicle impatiently.

 _I know_ , she mouthed back, but not in frustration. _I think he's embarrassed._

Steve just nods, never knowing Billy to be embarrassed by a little blood. The other guy probably looked a lot worse.

And at that moment, the door clicked open and Billy stepped out, instantly looking down at them and sharpening his gaze in puzzlement. "…What are you _doing?_ "

Robin answered a little too cheerily. "Sitting." She gestured at the floor beneath him, smiling welcomingly. "Sit."

He shot her another weirded out look, but did so anyway. He tensed when she began riffling through the kit loudly.

Steve eyed him suspiciously. "How d'you get that then?" He's obviously referring to his nose, but Billy, for some reason, looked down at himself for a very brief second, before composing himself and praying neither of them saw it. Steve made a mental note to ask about that another time.

"I tried to stand my ground." The blond shrugged, clearly not in the mood for a full length, detailed description.

Steve went to speak, but once again his coworker beated him to it.

" _Tried?_ " Robin singled out the word, a frown ghosting over her lips.

Billy hesitated. "I felt sorry for him so I let him…" He pointed at his nose. "… _ya know._ "

They both nod, Robin handing him a clean tissue so he can dab and wipe the blood away. He did so with little difficultly, and then got to his feet.

He was limping as he walked over to the bin and dropped the screwed up tissue into it, teeth grinding as he bit back gasps of pain.

Robin and Steve exchanged glances as they, too, stood up, with Robin closing up the first aid kit swiftly and securely before they headed to the door, Billy following out behind them.

* * *

When they came out of the staff room, coats on and bags slung over their shoulders, Billy's leant against the counter, staring into space.

Steve sort of hoped the guy would've left by now, but apparently not.

"We're going now." He stated, jingling his keys in his hand for added emphasise. Billy pursed his lips and began to walk, but paused when he was about to push open the door.

He turned to Robin. "Cheers for the help." He sounded genuine, sort of, and then he left without waiting for a reply.

The two of them stand at the door and watch him put one foot in front of the other, painful and potentially dangerous.

"…He's walking all the way home, isn't he?" Robin murmured, shuddering at the thought. Billy was practically covered in stitches, and the idea of him walking the streets alone in the cold and pitch black night sent shivers down her spine. She didn't even want to think about if a vehicle was added to the equation.

Steve hummed in confirmation, before sighing. "Let him do it." He said, pushing open the door and closing it behind them so he could lock it. "C'mon." He unlocked his car and slided in the driver's side, watching as Robin flopped into the passenger seat almost reluctantly.

Almost.

"I think we should've taken him home." She suggested as they were driving, fully aware that Steve's had probably already drove past Billy long ago without a second thought. "It's cold and he's injured."

"Max literally knocked him out once and he got home fine without his car." Steve retorted, Robin having heard this story over and over again by each and every one of the little nerds that followed Steve around. Sometimes she wondered what it was like from Billy's eyes; what caused him to snap and just go feral.

It wasn't long before Steve pulled up outside her home, headlights beaming on the front of the house as she stepped out, tensing up at the unpleasant October chill.

"When d'you want me over?" She walked over to the driver's side, and waited for the window to be rolled down before repeating her question.

Steve's previously chipper expression had returned, that stupid grin on his stupid face. "My parents are out for like… a week. You can come over whenever."

He was genuinely happy and excited and it warmed her heart greatly. Maybe the fact that he had a mate who wasn't a child was slightly overwhelming.

"I'll call you before I leave." She said. They lived about half an hour apart, so Steve could do the math in his head.

There's a comfortable silence between them as the wind causes them both to curl into themselves, sharing glances after a while. 

Robin began to shuffle away from the car, hands stuffed in her pockets as she bounced up and down in place. "See ya."

Steve smirks at her, all warm(ish) and comfortable in his car, before begining to reverse back onto the road carefully. "See ya." 

She watches as he drives off down the road, fishing her keys out her pocket as she fiddled with them at the front door. Her house was cosy and the sudden blast of heat was something she craved as she kicked off her shoes and reluctantly hung up her coat.

All she wanted was her bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the hell are you doing here?"
> 
> Robin grinned widely at him, amused to see the scratch on his temple had been covered with a bright blue plaster.
> 
> Billy huffed. "Stop staring at it. Max insisted."

"What I don't get is why he didn't have his car with him."

"You mean the same car that he crashed? The same car Nancy shot at when he tried to run them all over?" Robin asked sarcastically, reaching forwards to grab her cup off the coffee table. She blew the warm drink of hot chocolate before sipping, and sipping again when the temperature was drinkable.

Steve rolled his eyes at the comment. "Okay then. How about why he'd actually wondered all the damn way to the arcade? Max reckons he spends most of his time in his bedroom–"

"Exactly." She smiled softly. "He was probably going insane and just went for a walk–"

"Then what about the blood?"

"Homeless people looking for a fight? I don't know." Her gaze sharpened slightly. "…It's not any of our business, anyway. Besides… he's been through some tough shit. I guarantee he enjoyed it; just letting out all that repressed anger." A smile tugged at her lips, a sad one, and Steve grimaced.

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't spent most of the night wondering if Billy got home okay, or worrying that he'd wake up to a phone call from Max, asking if he'd seen her brother.

"I might call round Max's house," He began, pushing himself off the couch and throwing the blanket to the side. He ignored Robin's shout of confusion as he beelined for the phone. "Just to make sure he got back alright."

The ringing doesn't last very long before he's greeted by another, much more adult voice on the other end. He'd babysat Max a good handful of times whilst her mother spent nights at the hospital, and her stepdad presumably took on extra shifts to afford the medical bill, so he recognized Neil Hargrove's voice instantly.

"Mr Hargrove," He laughed nervously, the man's voice alone being quite intimidating. "It's, uh, it's Steve. Steve _Harrington_ –"

"Good to hear from you, Steve." Neil sounds nothing less than than cheerful. That was a good sign. "Is there a reason for you calling?"

Steve hesitated. He didn't really want to drop Billy in it, more so after hearing Robin's little comments about how much progress the guy had been making since Starcourt. Both mentally and physically. "…Can I speak to Max?"

Neil chuckled in amusement. "She's at school, Steve."

"Oh." _Dumbass_. "Well can I speak to Billy, then?"

There's a pause, an unsettling one at that, as Mr Hargrove clears his throat and speaks in much more serious tone. "Why?"

 _Shit, shit, shit._ "We're, uh… we're looking for staff at Family video, you see, and I was wondering if he'd be interested? It's not a difficult job, so he wouldn't risk busting his stitches or anything." As far as Susan and Neil knew, the 'arsonists' that we're responsible for the Starcourt fire didn't take nicely to adults of the group rescuing the kids. Thus resulting in Billy being the victim in a horrific knife attack.

They didn't question anything. They had no reason to question anything.

"And you wanted to speak with him?"

"Yeah. Yes, please."

Neil grunted, almost in annoyance, and after a few moments Billy's muttering an irritated "what do you want" down the phone.

It was weirdly comforting to hear him sounding… pissed off. It was a sign that he's slowly but surely returning to his old self. "Just checking you got home alright."

"Is that it? I thought it would be something important."

Steve rolled his eyes as Robin walked up to him, making grabby hands at the telephone. "…Listen, I… okay, uh, Robin- Robin wants to speak to you, I dunno why–" He's promptly cut off by his coworker snatching the phone and grinning wildly as she starts to rant about Family Video needing more staff. He stepped back and groaned, running a hand through his hair. It was meant to be a two second conversation… not _this._

He knew Billy had been through some traumatic shit, but the idea of working with him wasn't pleasant.

"The pay's decent. The hours are okay. You get to hang out with me and Steve!" Her cheerful expression collapses as she furrowed her brows, stunned. "Hello? _Hello?_ Billy–"

"He's hung up, hasn't he?"

" _Yep._ " Her pout quickly downturned into a frown. "You don't seem mad."

"Why would I be mad? Its not like we're friends–"

"We helped save his life, _Steve._ " She shook her head. She looked disappointed. "That… that doesn't mean you've gotta be _friends._ " He watched as she began walking to the door, pulling on her Doc Martens. "…You've just gotta show the guy some respect."

"Robin–"

" _No, Steve._ " Robin stared at him helplessly and slid an arm into her coat, then the other. She didn't stop when he grabbed her shoulder, only shrugged it off.

He grimaced. "You don't need to leave."

"I know I don't." She stated, taking a step back. _Closer to the door._ "But I think Billy would really appreciate some company after last night–"

Steve let his jaw drop, stunned. "You can't be serious–"

"Trust me, I am."

"You don't even know where he lives!"

"I've been in the car with you plenty of times when you drop off Max." She shot back. "…Don't bother following me."

Steve watched, defeated, as the door was shut probably a lot more harshly than intended.

Saying he felt regretful would be a massive understatement.

\--------------------

Robin regretted her decision as soon as she knocked on the door and came face-to-face with, who she presumed, was Mr Hargrove.

Mr Hargrove, with his military stance, standard moustache, and curious expression as he tried to work out who he was looking at.

She'd barely seen him at the hospital when she and Steve had visited Billy, so she wasn't put off by how suspicious he seemed.

"Can I help you, young lady?" She almost laughed at how he sounded exactly how she'd expected him to.

"Uh, yeah, yes you can." She offered a smile, which he returned. "I'm Robin. Robin Buckley–" She outstretched her hand for him to shake, not surprised by his firm, solid grip. He had a couple scratches and bruises on his knuckles, probably from training or something. "I'm a friend of Billy's."

"He's never spoken about you before." He stated.

Robin hoped that was a lie, considering how many Get Well Soon cards she'd left on his bedside table whisky he was in hospital. She'd still been weary of him back then, still struggling to come to terms with the whole D&D metaphors and paranormal monsters.

Cards had seemed like a good middle ground.

"I work with Steve at Family Video? We, uh… We were involved in the Starcourt fire."

"Oh."

That had caused him to step back and open the door wider, before he gestures for her to come inside. "You should've said so earlier." He chuckled. "Billy's in his room."

* * *

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Robin grinned widely at him, amused to see the scratch on his temple had been covered with a bright blue plaster.

Billy huffed. "Stop staring at it. Max insisted." He stepped aside and closed the door behind her, eyes set into a tired glare. "Why are you here? Is it about the job–"

"Sort of." She shrugged as she watched him sit down on the edge of his bed – the bed the took up practically half the room – and curiously began taking in all her surroundings. The cracked mirror, the wardrobe, the drawer opposite the bed. Standard bedroom-y things.

"Oh wowwww~" She snickered as she reached into the top drawer and pulled out an… adult magazine, fully aware of how pink her cheeks were probably getting. Billy's face heated up too, more so in embarrassment, and he quickly stood up and snatched it off her. He shoved it back into the drawer, not liking how her smile had somehow gotten brighter. "Don't worry." She winked at him as they both sat down on his bed. "I won't tell."

"Good, cuz my dad would fucking murder me." He laughed slightly as he said it, but Robin was undeniably unsettled by how quick the comment came.

"Speaking of murder." She said casually. "Well, not really – more so the genre – I was just wondering if you're actually interested in working at Family Video?"

Billy's expression softened.

Robin had heard hours worth of violence-infested horror stories about Billy and his short temper, but right now she was struggling to understand if they'd been about the _same_ Billy.

Granted, she'd barely known the guy existed until that awful Independence Day, but she'd always been sceptical when meeting new people.

They'd spoke briefly at hospital when he'd wake up to her awkwardly placing a card on his bedside table, or when Max had dragged him into the store to "look for something that didn't just involve girls in bikinis."

Or – when Billy had still been a lifeguard – she'd asked him if he was aware there had been a bunch of cougars gawking at him during his whole shift. He'd told her to mind her own business.

"If you're genuinely open for applications, then maybe." He eyed her, smirking. "But not if you're just trying to spend more time with me."

Robin scoffed. "Trust me when I say you're not my type." She offered a playful smirk of her own, one that she thought was only reserved for Steve and sometimes Dustin. Apparently Billy had accidentally gotten that privilege now. "Not even close."

"I can't tell if that's s'posed to be a compliment or not." He laughed. Robin liked his laugh; it was a shame she barely heard it. "So, is there an actual job opening or not?"

Technically, _no_. But Robin knew that the place was in need of a more… intimidating staff member. Someone that the customer's wouldn't dare talking back too. "Keith only has two requirements." She explained. "You've either gotta have good taste, or be sex on legs."

Billy stared at her, then nodded firmly. "Why was Harrington hired, then?"

She would've called him out for the harsh comment, but then she remembered Steve's lack of respect earlier. He deserved to be bitched about. It was the least they could do.

"He's a charmer, in his own weird way." She smiled and nudged his arm, glad that he didn't scream in pain or anything. Then again, if she was going by how much she'd seen him being force fed at the hospital, Billy was jacked up on so many pain killers she was honestly surprised he hadn't overdosed.

The gradual silence was comfortable, relaxing, and of course Robin had to go and cock it up by staring at the crack on the mirror for a solid minute.

"It fell, by the way." Billy explained, voice a little quieter. A little more cautious.

She nodded, still slightly unnerved by how recent the crack looked to be. She'd been in band; she knew what chipped wood looked like.

"How did it fall?" She made sure to keep her voice as level and natural as possible, not letting the concern creep through.

Billy wasn't so quick to answer this time. "Mirrors loose their balance sometimes, don't they? It just fell."

It didn't look like it'd fallen. It looked like something had fallen into it, dare she say _thrown._

 _Pushed_ , _even_.

And then she caught slight of that blue fucking plaster on Billy's temple.

The mirror's crack was on its right. Billy's injury was on his left.

A perfect match.

"Did…" She turned to him carefully. "…Did you fall into the mirror?"

The blond furrowed his brows, utterly confused. "What?"

"Your scratch." She pointed at her own head for reference. "It's–"

"From a bar fight." He finished grimly. "It's from a bar fight I got in last night. So was the bloody nose." He then got up and stood next to the mirror, just to prove his point. "I have to crouch to use this fucking thing."

He then points to the door.

Robin swallows thickly, regretting all her recent life choices.

"Don't jump to conclusions, Robin." Billy muttered. He suddenly sounded so goddamn exhausted and _done_ and Robin just took that as her cue to leave.

Neil saw her out, said he'd make sure Billy got in contact about the job, and wished her a safe walk home.

It's 4:32pm when she knocks on Steve's front door, shivering from the cold and hugging herself tightly.

Thankfully, Steve let her back inside. He handed her a fresh cup of coffee.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! :)


End file.
